As soon as we try to stop having them, we think about them more.” “And that’s a game you cannot win, because our thoughts are ubiquitous. They “get stuck in a tug-of-war with their intrusive thoughts,” Abramowitz says. That could jeopardize the person’s relationship with their child, while also making things more difficult for their partner, who’s suddenly tasked with handling all baby-related duties. Such concerns often afflict new parents, who might experience the intrusive thought that they could harm or inappropriately touch their baby-and then refuse to change the child’s diaper or otherwise interact with him.
Most people would allow the thought to dissipate as quickly as it formed, but a person with OCD might assume it means they’re dangerous and shouldn’t drive, Abramowitz says. Say you’re driving down the road and suddenly wonder what would happen if you steered your car into a tree. They don’t regard them as passing notions-they take them literally. Some people with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), in particular, tend to experience intrusive thoughts more intensely than others and have a harder time shaking them off. Still, some people become tormented by the possibility that their intrusive thoughts are true or will cause them to act in a certain way, and might begin performing compulsions in order to rid themselves of these thoughts-or alter their lives and routines entirely. “A true intrusive thought is simply a thought, and we can choose to act on it or not.” The majority of people do not-and these involuntary thoughts don’t capture their actual desires. “The reality is that our intrusive thoughts alone can’t compel us to engage in a behavior that we don’t want to do,” she says. But the idea that these thoughts are linked with behavior is a big misconception, Beadel notes. Many TikTok videos about intrusive thoughts make it seem like people have no choice but to give in to them, as though they’re commands. The thought could also center on having sex with a family member, encountering dangerous germs, or doing something embarrassing in front of a lot of people.
Or, they might be hanging out on the balcony when they abruptly think about jumping over it. Often, however, they appear spontaneously: someone might be holding a baby and suddenly imagine dropping him, Beadel says. Some research suggests that lack of sleep, stress, and anxiety can increase the frequency of intrusive thoughts. That makes them different from what’s commonly portrayed on TikTok: A quick thought about whether you should jump on stage as your favorite band plays probably won’t occur again, and likely won’t cause too much distress-unless you deeply value rule-following and are worried about what the idea says about you.
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